


Warm Enough

by purplebass



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplebass/pseuds/purplebass
Summary: Alastair is walking near the river Thames when he sees Thomas...
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood
Kudos: 42
Collections: Thomastair





	Warm Enough

Alastair caught sight of Thomas Lightwood near the edge of the river and he couldn’t help but stare. He knew it was him from the height. Thomas was lean and tall, and he towered the area like a pagan god, the kind you read in myths.

It was a warm day, and perhaps they had had the same idea. Still, of all the places he could find him, he was there. It wasn't Alastair's favorite spot - he preferred the other side where there was a tree that was big enough to serve as a parasol when he sat on the grass to read - but he liked the place nonetheless. It had a small patch of wild daisies and other flowers, then nothing. It looked like the flowers were misplaced or something, and gave the area a peculiar look. A special look.

Alastair considered striding to where Thomas was. Seconds passed. Minutes. But he wasn’t able to move from behind the tree where he had stopped. Thomas removed his shoes at some point, and threw himself in the river.

Alastair just stared as Thomas’ head resurfaced above water, and he passed a hand through his hair to remove it off his face. He glanced at the sun and covered his eyes because the rays were too strong. But it was quick, since he dove underwater soon after.

Alastair waited for him to go back up, but he couldn’t see any trace of Thomas’ light brown hair. He started to worry, and wondered if something had happened while he was in the water. Or maybe he was just overreacting. He was alone, what if he was out of breath and was drowning? He had to do something.

He walked briskly towards the edge, took off his shoes and jacket, and threw himself in the water as well. He was grateful that he knew how to swim, or else… He saw Thomas. His eyes were shut, and his arms lay open, as if he was waiting to embrace someone. He swam towards him and grabbed his hand, trying to go up as fast as he could.

Thomas was lighter underwater, but as they resurfaced, he had to drag his body out. The guy was lean, but he was not weak. Alastair lifted most of Thomas' body out of the water. He laid his head on the grass, and gazed back at his face. He was unconscious. On another occasion, he would think he was sleeping. He wouldn’t bother him. Right now, though, Thomas’ lips were already turning a shade of blue. He needed air, and that, Alastair could give him. It was the only thing he could give Thomas.

He opened his mouth and placed his lips on his, trying to inject as much air as he could in Thomas’ lungs. Alastair placed his hand on the side of Thomas’ cheek to right his head. Just like two lovers having a private _rendezvous_ , except their lips were brushing in order for one to stay alive and the other to save him. _He can’t die._

Once.

 _Nothing_.

Twice.

 _Nothing_.

Alastair was getting restless. He couldn’t call anyone, because there was no one around. It was such a pleasant day to take a walk around there, but other people had chosen different places to enjoy the sun. He had to stay calm and continue. Go on until Thomas would open his eyes and regain consciousness. _Be safe._

After the third time, Thomas coughed, spitting water on the grass. Alastair stood on his knees, relief filled his lungs, as air filled Thomas’. He was breathing, at last. Thomas sighed heavily, clutching his neck.

“Lay down,” Alastair warned him. The agitation from moments before hadn’t left him, but he was calmer. His hand was still trembling, and he made a fist in the hopes that Thomas hadn’t noticed.

“Alastair,” he called him by his name, which made Alastair frown. They had never moved past surnames. “Am I alive?”

He wanted to laugh. “Why do you assume you’re dead?” _Maybe because it’s me_ , Alastair thought. _Maybe you also see me as the devil like the others._ Or as someone who doesn’t share anything with his angel ancestors.

“I remember I was underwater,” Thomas recounted, gazing up at the blue sky above, which made his eyes look a lighter shade of hazel. “Then I felt like my arms couldn’t move anymore, and I believe I’ve fainted.”

“You thought you’d died?” Alastair asked.

“It would have been funny, don’t you think?”

Alastair did notice that Thomas avoided to answer. He was also avoiding eye contact altogether. “Don’t say these things, Thomas,” he told him, seriously concerned. “Do not joke about dying.”

Thomas was smiling, but it didn’t look like he was happy. It was more of a bitter grin. Alastair suspected that he was thinking about someone. Perhaps it was his sister Barbara he had in mind. She had tragically died a few months prior.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Thomas replied, trying to sit down. Alastair helped him, and he coughed some more water. It was then that he finally acknowledged him.

“You weren’t supposed to be underwater either,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Are you angry with me, Lightwood?”

“What makes you think that? You’ve just saved my life.”

“This is the first time we’ve talked in weeks,” Alastair reminded him. It was not the right moment to say this, but better now than never.

“Would you prefer when we didn’t talk?”

“No,” Alastair replied sharply, frowning. He still hadn’t moved from his position, on his knees. They were starting to hurt. But the need to feel closer to Thomas was strong, and he was taller than him while they were sitting like that.

Thomas didn’t seem satisfied. “No?”

“I think you heard me pretty well. We’re close, after all.” _But not too close_ , his mind continued. _You don’t want us to be close._

“Look, thank you for saving my life,” Thomas said, managing a grin. “But this doesn’t change anything.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything to change,” Alastair answered, but it was a lie. He didn’t save him so that they would become instant friends. _But you don’t want to be friends with him_ , Alastair thought, and bit his lip. “I should go.”

Thomas nodded, but Alastair didn’t move an inch from there. Then he sighed, put his shoes and jacket on, and left. The only consolation was that he saved Thomas from drowning. If he hadn’t been there… he didn’t want to think about it. He walked away with wet clothes, in the hopes that this thought would warm him up, and be enough. For now.


End file.
